Accepting your body after a baby

Maybe I’m having just one of those days but earlier I stumbled upon an aggravating article on the Daily Mail showing Abbey Clancy in an ad campaign that was launched recently just weeks after she had her second baby.. I’ve scrambled together some of my thoughts on the difficulty of accepting your body after having a baby – it brings about changes that you can and can’t control, changes that you can and sometimes can’t accept.

I was sitting on the train with a rare couple of hours to myself during which I had both the time and attention to actually read the articles in the latest issue of Elle magazine. Interestingly the issue is called The Body Issue and is focused on embracing our different shapes and on being healthy. The magazine, unlike the stupid Daily Mail, is filled with so much positivity when it comes to body image it makes me slightly embarrassed I’m so constantly critical of my own. Over the past three years I’ve had two big babies (both over 10lbs) and both via c section so my body has taken a bit of a hammering. My weight has fluctuated by a matter of stone and while I’m currently lighter than I’ve been in years my body is so drastically different I’ve really struggled to accept the changes. Yes I can look at my two ladies and be proud of what my body and achieved but I’m still human and the scars, the stretchmarks and the portions of skin in places they shouldn’t be are a constant source of  frustration. Over time, and with two babies and less time to give these thoughts a place in my mind, it bothers me less. I’ve picked up lots of tips to hide and conceal the parts I don’t like and highlight the parts I, sort of, do like. High waisted skinny jeans, a large instead of a medium top, A-line skirts and peplum, all form the base of of a wardrobe I’m learning to embrace.

accepting your body after a baby body post pregnancy the two darlings mummy blogger ireland body after pregnancy

There is is a seismic shift happening within the media and the fashion industry that is banning models with dangerously low BMI’s and is putting plus sized models on the cover of Vogue. And whilst this is a powerful and positive movement the real acceptance has to come from within. I don’t have the answers as to how one can achieve that acceptance as I’m still on the road to it myself. But maybe we as women and mothers need to believe it when our husbands, partners, friends and daughters tell us we look nice. It’s inherintly Irish to disregard or brush off praise and complements, to run down an outfit with the wave of a hand and a mumbling of Penny’s

accepting your body after a baby body post pregnancy the two darlings mummy blogger ireland

And while I’m not at the stage of bravely baring it all I can start with being a little but more positive about my sorry looking midriff and maybe eventually I’ll get there (after the tummy tuck of course, joke joke….). We are constantly bombarded in the (shitty!) media with pictures of celebrities who look incredible mere moments after having babies. Maybe I’m cynical or wishful but the campaign I referred to earlier featuring Abbey Clancy was probably shot long before she was even pregnant or else it’s photoshoped, something that us mere mortals don’t have access to but which puts incredible and unrealistic pressure on the average woman during a time when she is fighting to accept the huge changes that life with a baby brings about. But more power to those in the public eye, (and the surgeons, trainers, nutritionists etc they pay!) they face pressure too, just a different kind.

accepting your body after a baby body post pregnancy the two darlings mummy blogger ireland

I won’t speak on behalf of the other mothers and women out there but maybe my struggle is not such an isolated one and there is comfort in the collective I know that for sure.

The last image is courtesy of the Daily Mail, despite my giving out about them!

A Cornish Mum
Advice From The Heart

14 thoughts on “Accepting your body after a baby

  1. Pingback: Irish Parenting Bloggers | Accepting your body after a baby
  2. You can never compare your body to celebrities. They are tucked and pulled and drained and dieted to the max. Some get colonics before red carpet events, and laser liposuctions, among other weird/harmful procedures just to look as thin as possible. I, too, wonder why I sometimes can never look as thin as them, even though I am 5’4″ and a healthy 125-130 lbs. Wait until I have a baby! Everyone’s body is different, and we, as “normal” people, should celebrate ours, rather than comparing them to something that they can never naturally be. Your body is beautiful.

    <3
    Emory
    helloscarlettblog.com

    1. That is frightening they go to those lengths, I agree we should celebrate our body’s and I do but I just don’t love it as much as I should! 🙁 Thanks for the informed and positive comment!

  3. I think most of us feel the same lovely, if I’m having a day where I don’t like what I see in the mirror or I’ve ‘grown’ ot of my jeans then supposed ‘perfection’ which often looks ill to me in the media really doesn’t help. I mostly accept my post children body (my boobs are actually better!), but still have a wobble (no pun intended) some days it’s only natural I suppose!
    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix Fridays
    Stevie xx

  4. well said. The thing is when I meet someone, or chat with them I never notice how big/small they are.
    I think it is good to look at your girls and be proud, and then try to look in the mirror and resist the criticisms you want to make and see what your family see.

  5. I needed this today. With the hot weather this week I pulled out five dresses I haven’t worn in a couple of years (I was breastfeeding last summer and had to wear separates). None of them fit, It took me a little time to shake it off. Now I’ve decided new body, new clothes!

  6. One word: Spanx. Even though I am the same weight I was pre-child my proportions have definitely changed. So when I’m out for an evening (you know, once a year) and want to feel slim and not squidgy I slap on some tummy tucking spanx!! Plus when you get home it makes your pajamas feel that much better! 🙂

  7. I try not to compare my body to anyone else – it never goes well, what I do know is that now that Boo is 8 months I really need get myself back to a place where I feel a bit more comfortable with myself.

  8. Oh I can totally relate to this post. I really don’t like the pressure that is put on new Mums from the media. My partner actually thought it was normal for you to be back in your jeans without a hint of a belly wihen the baby is a few days old as that is all they see, unless they have had a baby or are close friends with someone who has! I hate parts of my body now, I wish I didn’t but I do. Thanks so much for linking up to #PickNMix

  9. I am also struggling with my body too. I hate it. I want time to do exercise like when I was younger. I would spend hours in the gym, sweating off anything I could. Now-a-day, I would get stitches just walking up to the conner shop. But it means I have time with my kids. Don’t compare yourself to celeb. They are no normal people! Xx #PickNMix

  10. Hi,
    I have only had one baby 6 weeks ago but I am feeling very low about my body at the minute, everyone says I have lost a lot of weight but all I can focus on is the bits I hate like the stretch marks (which I know will fade) and the baby belly I still have! I thought I would be able to fit back into my pre pregnancy clothes quite quickly…After all all the celebs can so I thought it would be easy!but after a traumatic birth and not being able to exercise properly, I still can’t fit into then and am too afraid to go shopping for clothes that will fit me now!
    I think celebs that shrink back into shape immediately shouldn’t be having photo shoots as yes it is good for them but it makes the rest of us feel like we are failing!
    Xxx

    1. My heart goes out to you because I know exactly how you feel. Honestly these celebrities put such pressure on us without being honest about all the nutritional advise or diets and exercise ans help with baby that they get whereas us mere mortals have to do it the long hard slow way. I promise you’ll get to a point where you’re happier but it doesn’t happen overnight, give yourself another couple of weeks, try and get out and do some gently exercise not only for your body but for your mind too. Don’t be too hard on yourself you’ve just had a baby it’s a huge ordeal physically and mentally so be kind to yourself and please feel free to drop me an email if you want to chat more xxx

  11. This is coming up so much on blogs all over the place! I feel it’s such a shame that we place so much importance on our looks – of course it’s nice to look good but that isn’t determined by a dress size number. Thanks for sharing #fromtheheart

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