Living with a toddler results in tricky navigation through even the most mundane tasks. On one hand you want to encourage independent thinking but on the other hand, well, you need to leave the house somewhat on time and looking like respectable humans. My toddler, or threenager, honestly makes me laugh a lot, sometimes because it’s better than crying when she has spilled your copious collection of nail varnishes ALL over the bedroom, and sometimes because what goes through her random little mind is quite frankly hilarious! So here is a run down of how to survive life with a threeanger, although these tips will probably be redundant come this evening as life moves at a pretty fast pace in a generally unknown direction when you live with a toddler!
Rules – they exist, you don’t know them but you WILL break them. And don’t think just because you figured out the first time why you broke them that by adhering to said criteria a second time will render you in the clear. It won’t.
Speaking of broken – a biscuit/banana/slice of toast is irrevocably altered if it so happens to break it because you were too busy feeding the baby/re-boiling the kettle for the hundredth time (sorry husband that’s quite possible why the electricity bill is so high!)/cleaning/swooshing your hair a la Elsa on the side of a mountain and/or thinking of going to the toilet (still only thinking about it, may not happen until the night).
Privacy, what’s privacy?! But hey at least it feels like you’re living in the most inappropriate five star hotel when you get your shampoo and conditioner handed to you while you’re in the shower (usually whilst facing a barrage of statements about how only girls have front bums and boys have willies).
Sighing – LOTS of exasperated sighing….from both of us at times.
Role playing – ‘you be Elsa and I’ll be Aaaaaaahna’. If I have to pretend to swoosh my hair around my shoulder and walk around the kitchen pretending to freeze things while singing the (ONE) line ‘Let it go’ repeatedly one more time….well lets just say freezing things is repetitive.
Stories – bizarre, frequent, usually unclear and generally unrelenting.
Dreaded words – you’re driving down a small country Irish road with no verge and it’s more than likely raining from the heavens with a gale force wind to boot and then from the back of the car comes ‘Mummy, I need to go peepee’…oh well hello there Panic.
Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom – constantly requested. I mean constantly.
Insanity – You’ll find yourself pointing out ‘interesting’ things from the car…even when you’re alone.
Language – I live in constant fear of standing up to give a presentation on dairy cows in work (I work in agricultural research so this occurrence is not that random!) and inadvertently referring to them as ‘moomoos’. But I love her more than anything. x