The real truth about living with a toddler

Living with a toddler results in tricky navigation through even the most mundane tasks. On one hand you want to encourage independent thinking but on the other hand, well, you need to leave the house somewhat on time and looking like respectable humans.  My toddler, or threenager, honestly makes me laugh a lot, sometimes because it’s better than crying when she has spilled your copious collection of nail varnishes ALL over the bedroom, and sometimes because what goes through her random little mind is quite frankly hilarious! So here is a run down of how to survive life with a threeanger, although these tips will probably be redundant come this evening as life moves at a pretty fast pace in a generally unknown direction when you live with a toddler!

Rules – they exist, you don’t know them but you WILL break them. And don’t think just because you figured out the first time why you broke them that by adhering to said criteria a second time will render you in the clear. It won’t.

Speaking of broken – a biscuit/banana/slice of toast is irrevocably altered if it so happens to break it because you were too busy feeding the baby/re-boiling the kettle for the hundredth time (sorry husband that’s quite possible why the electricity bill is so high!)/cleaning/swooshing your hair a la Elsa on the side of a mountain and/or thinking of going to the toilet (still only thinking about it, may not happen until the night).

Privacy, what’s privacy?! But hey at least it feels like you’re living in the most inappropriate five star hotel when you get your shampoo and conditioner handed to you while you’re in the shower (usually whilst facing a barrage of statements about how only girls have front bums and boys have willies).

Sighing – LOTS of exasperated sighing….from both of us at times.

Role playing – ‘you be Elsa and I’ll be Aaaaaaahna’.  If I have to pretend to swoosh my hair around my shoulder and walk around the kitchen pretending to freeze things while singing the (ONE) line ‘Let it go’ repeatedly one more time….well lets just say freezing things is repetitive.

Stories – bizarre, frequent, usually unclear and generally unrelenting.

Dreaded words – you’re driving down a small country Irish road with no verge and it’s more than likely raining from the heavens with a gale force wind to boot and then from the back of the car comes ‘Mummy, I need to go peepee’…oh well hello there Panic.

Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom – constantly requested. I mean constantly.

Insanity – You’ll find yourself pointing out ‘interesting’ things from the car…even when you’re alone.

Language – I live in constant fear of standing up to give a presentation on dairy cows in work (I work in agricultural research so this occurrence is not that random!) and inadvertently referring to them as ‘moomoos’. But I love her more than anything. x

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30 thoughts on “The real truth about living with a toddler

  1. Pingback: Irish Parenting Bloggers | The real truth about living with a toddler
  2. Ha ha! Completely agree, except our role playing is often train related! And what is with the rules?! 🙂 xx

  3. Oh the stories! I love the stories, so nonsensical and lovely! Also yes I hear the moo moo thing, on our first night away from our eldest we were after having dinner and my husband asked if I wanted to go for a “walkies”….

  4. Haha, my toddler is non verbal so don’t have quite the same list but his favourite toy at the mo is Mr Potato Head, only you have to insert & the remove the body parts or there’s hell to pay! #SundayStars

  5. What a great list. I nodded and agreed with each one. And why is it that when some food item is broken that it is so very upsetting to them irrespective of the fact they would probably snap it in half prior to consumption?

    1. Ha good question – the broken food one gets me every time, hell when you’re making your way through a pack of crackers and every one of them are broken, argh sweats!

  6. So funny. Laughed at each an every one. My kiddos have only recently entered toddlerhood and im already with you on the “Insanity” part.

  7. Hahaha! Great post!!! I’ve got this in stereo at the moment!! My twins have just turned two and our house is a toddler zone!! Getting anywhere quickly is just not happening these days… I’ve resigned myself that a walk to — and from — the post office, at the other end of the village, will take pretty much ALL afternoon!! But hey! Best to treasure these times eh? They’ll be over before we know it! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday 🙂

    Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

  8. hah this made me chuckle! My toddler son is obsessed with Frozen too and we have the cd on repeat in the car – we get to Let it Go and all I hear is ” sing mummy!!!! sing!!” . So theres me warbling along to Elsa with a 2 yr old in the back shouting LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of his voice!! x

    1. They always want you to join in and to be fair Disney could have produced a song that was easier for the average singer to sing along to! Glad you liked the post!

  9. Ah yes, the ‘Dreaded Words’ – the ones you recognise just from the first word and the intonation, and that are usually met with a mouthed “FFS”. I’m sure they think the same of us, mind you! #TwinklyTuesday

  10. All so true. I’d love to see that presentation. I’ve often referred to animals in their baby form when talking to adults.

    Great post #fridayfrolics

  11. Blaze and the Monster Machines is the poison here! I am sure it’s killing me slowly #FridayFrolics

  12. I love the term ‘threenager’! I am going to use that one when my son clicks over to 3. It does get a bit repetitive with a toddler huh? I constantly have to pretend the spoon with food on it is Peter Rabbit so he will eat his dinner. I am starting to hate Peter Rabbit.

    #FridayFrolics

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